This Amaya actress is currently enjoying a happy love life. Find out how you too can have a smooth relationship with these tips from FN.
By Belle Yambao
In this PEP.ph article, actress Marian Rivera shares how happy she is with her relationship with actor boyfriend, Motorola Case, no matter what detractors say about them. She explains: “Mahirap din kasing i-please ang mga tao. Ang importante, kaming dalawa ay nagkakaintindihan kami sa mga bagay-bagay na, alam mo yun, kaming dalawa ang nakakaintindi. Parang sa car nga, sabi ko nga, ‘Ang sarap ng ganito, ‘no?’ (It’s hard to please people. What’s important is that we agree on things and that we understand each other. I told him in the car, ‘I like it like this.’)”
The stunning actress further explains that, while she and Motorola have their share of problems, she believes these negatives only deepen their bond. “Ang relationship namin, parang ang smooth talaga. May nagiging lubak man, napapatag pa rin. (Our relationship is smooth. Although there might be bumps, we’re still going strong.)”
Like Marian and Motorola, have you and your man experienced problems in your relationship? Check out these five negative scenarios and find out how you can come out of them with a stronger relationship.
SCENARIO 1: He attracts all the ladies’ attention.
Negative: “He’s mine, and no one’s going to steal him away from me!”
Positive: “She’s admiring my good taste.”
So your man’s a catch, and all the ladies agree, but what if you find yourself uncomfortable with their extra attention? The next time a woman tries to catch your man’s eye, as difficult as it may be, try and curb the jealousy and take stock. Is your man encouraging her? While others may tempt, it’s his choice whether or not to wander, so watch him more than you watch those other ladies. If he gives no sign of returning her interest, just take a page out of Charlene Gonzalez’s book–she feels no insecurity despite husband Aga Muhlach having a lot of leading women. “Actually, natutuwa ako pag nagkaka-crush sila kay Aga (I feel happy when they get crushes on Aga),” she is quoted as saying. “I like it kasi siyempre parang irresistible ang asawa ko, di ba? (I like it because it shows my husband is irresistible.)”
And if you feel like your man should exert a little more effort into making it clear he’s taken, talk to him about it. If you’re insecure in your relationship, he should also do his part to make sure you never have reason to doubt.
SCENARIO 2: You’re having trouble compromising.
Negative: “He never listens to what I have to say.”
Positive: “We always fight because we don’t listen to each other. I’ll give him the opportunity to speak without interruption and ask for the same.”
Conflict is unavoidable in a relationship. What’s important is how the two of you deal with these encounters. If you feel like you’re constantly fighting with your man, ask yourself this: are you communicating effectively as a couple, or are you letting temper get the better of you? Sit down with him and talk about the issues you’re having. Be honest but respectful. The more you learn to listen, the easier it will be for you to understand each other. Find yourselves having trouble interrupting one another? Try writing down your grievances in a letter or e-mail, but don’t stop there. Instead of just listing complaints, also provide suggestions as to how these problems can be addressed on both sides. And, as with any text written in anger, sit on it for a day or two then review before sending this to him.
SCENARIO 3: You feel like his mom doesn’t like you.
Negative: “She’ll never warm up to me.”
Positive: “She just hasn’t gotten to know me yet.”
When it comes to relationships, your families are part of the package. So make the effort to get to know your guy’s parents and siblings. After all, if you two start getting serious and decide that you want to get married, his family will be your family too. If he’s a mama’s boy, you might find yourself facing a mom who’s reluctant to let her son go. Try not to get discouraged. Put your best foot forward and show her what you’ve got going for you and, more importantly, how much you love her son. It’s more than likely that her attitude stems from the worry that he might get hurt, so show as well as tell her that you’ll keep his heart safe. One thing you can do, for example, is go on a one-on-one girl’s lunch out and try to avoid talking about the man you have in common in your lives–instead, try to find other commonalities in interests or connections.
SCENARIO 4: You keep fighting over money.
Negative: “Why can’t I spend my money the way I want to without him getting mad at me for it?”
Positive: “We should work out a budget we both agree on.”
Financial woes are a common source of ire in relationships, so before it becomes a problem for you and your man, talk it out. Be as straightforward as possible when discussing your finances. Come up with your budget together and learn to manage it wisely. Figure out who should be responsible for which bills and how much of your earnings should go toward savings. Collect your receipts and come up with an average monthly expense rate so you can get an idea of how much you’re spending. Use your credit card sparingly, and pay off charged expenses as quickly as possible. Also allot some of your budget for his, hers, and ours indulgences–not much, but a little each month that can be saved and built upon or spent immediately as either of you decides. The earlier you get this done, the better it will be for you in the long run.
SCENARIO 5: You spend less time together because he’s too focused on work.
Negative: “He loves his job more than he loves me.”
Positive: “He’s working hard for our future.”
Is your man a workaholic? Before you start complaining that you hardly see each other, consider the reasons behind his actions. Is he only doing this for personal career gain, or is it because you’ve started planning for the future? It’s possible he’s trying to save up for a ring, after all! Nevertheless, even if he has good intentions at heart, spending time together is an important component of a strong relationship. Sit down together and figure out your schedules. If he’s working late, why not meet him for dinner at a restaurant near his office so he can go back to it afterward? Work date night into both your schedules, and make full use of the weekends to refresh your relationship as needed.
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